1434 before I had to cash out for the day and go do previously unscheduled female stuff. We women, you know, we need to groom. Hair, nails, facials, varieties of hair removal - I've usurped that one, hello, laser! - but there's always a little something that needs to be updated, or plucked, or covered, or smoothed, or painted.

It makes us feel pretty, so where's the harm, right? I'm a firm believer in doing what makes you feel pretty, though I personally am not a fan of things of an invasive nature, things that involve needles and knives and such. Plus I had to pick up a pair of new glasses - actually old glasses, but new lenses... so I quickly rearranged the rest of my week and lumped it all in. I spent the afternoon running around from place to place, wondering just how much time I spend in a year improving my externals. 

It strikes me that the Internet has been a massive boom to the grooming industry. Porn driving bikini waxes, Pinterest driving new hair styles, colors and nail designs, Facetweetgram for instant gratifications (my mother asked me to send a selfie today...) Think of the most famous trend in hair since Farrah Fawcett's feathering -- ombre -- which has its own language, fun words like melting and shadowing and bronde, and of course, my new favorite, balayage. (For the boys, that's a french hair painting technique that looks more natural than regular highlights. Think that's dumb? I give you -- Giselle. So yeah. Hush.)

Point is,  I feel better knowing I blew an afternoon in the middle of both Christmas, which I'm still sort of behind on, and deadline, which I'm right on time with, but I'll have to maintain this pace over the holiday, for a reason over half the population will not just understand, but commiserate with. Holla to my bitches, and all that.

Seriously, knowing I'm not alone in this makes it all better, really, it does. When I read Nora Ephron's I DON'T LIKE MY NECK, I smiled in secret glee at her piece on Maintenance, and laughed out loud in her acknowledgements, in which she thanked all those who'd helped her in the fight against gravity.

I actually colored my hair for the first time ever today, to begin what might be a long and losing battle with age streaks, so I can see exactly where this train is heading. Alas. and Alack. And back to it tomorrow.

Sweet dreams!





J.T. Ellison

J.T. Ellison is the New York Times bestselling and award-winning author of fifteen critically acclaimed thrillers and is the co-author of the Nicholas Drummond series with #1 New York Times bestselling author Catherine Coulter. With over a million books in print, Ellison’s work has been published in twenty-five countries and thirteen languages. She is also the co-host of A Word on Words, Nashville's premier literary TV series, which airs on Nashville Public Television. She lives with her husband and twin kittens in Nashville. Visit JTEllison.com, and follow her on Twitter @Thrillerchick or at Facebook.com/JTEllison14.