1.12.17 - Silence!

I came across this article from The Economist on Twitter the other day, and was compelled to click because I’d just had a conversation with my husband about my need for large swaths of silent time. 

I’ve long owned my natural introversion, but I think there’s something more fundamental at play. Perhaps it’s from growing up in a forest, perhaps it is the introvert in me (with more than likely a touch of Aspergers to boot…) but I really like silence. I like the quiet that comes from spending the day alone. I like the evenings we spend reading instead of watching television. They rejuvenate my spirit, and bolster my concentration levels.

Who knows why and whence it came, but the fact is, when there’s too much sustained noise around me, I get very frachetty. I can’t concentrate. My thoughts fracture. I find even the simplest tasks hard. I get snappish and annoyed easily, and of course, the work suffers. 

I loved the piece in The Economist because it felt like permission to be true to myself.

Do I want to hike to the top of a mountain and become a monk? Well, only sometimes. 😉 I dream of doing a silent retreat, but I would want to have my husband there to talk to at night. Does that defeat the purpose? I can’t imagine going more than a few hours without hearing his voice, and he mine. True love? Codependence? Who cares, it’s a fact. So the all-silent thing isn’t for me, I guess. I did get a kick out of the fact that the author of the piece thought a week-long silent retreat was going to be the best thing ever, and instead bailed and left after a day. 

Silence is not for everyone. 

I don’t see the boredom in silence. I see it as a state of being. A calm lake on a cloudless day. A snow-capped mountain set against a sapphire sky. A perfectly attuned book photograph on Instagram. Something that makes you pause in your day and say, “Wow, that is beautiful. I need to stop here and admire it for a moment.”

Your shoulders relax, you breathe a little deeper, your mood is bolstered. 

That’s what silence does for me.

I’ve always admired writers who can go to coffeeshops and work. I have a fun group of writers here who do just that, and I join them on occasion. They rack up word counts while I get business done. Emails, blogs, things I can do with half an ear cocked elsewhere. There are just so many people to look at, characters all. I find myself daydreaming about who they are, what there lives are like, what they do for a living, who loves them, who they love, why they’re in the coffeeshop at that particular moment… which is a great creative exercise, but it also means zero word counts, which defeats the purpose.  

Lately, especially, the computer itself is also an agent of noise, even when it’s not playing anything through the speakers. The screen clamors for attention, a siren’s call. The consumption of this particular kind of noise is devilish to me—a bargain that must be made. I need the research. I like the friendships. I adore the education.

But at the same time, this is why I’ve been working so hard to turn off my devices, to spend time in REAL silence, meditation and yoga, a general tuning in to the universe. It’s hard to tether a lifeline, but I’m finding it more and more rewarding to have these few hours of true silence in my life. 

This is probably why Cal Newport’s DEEP WORK feels so right to me, why I like to turn on Freedom and work. The quiet is permeable, an entity unto itself. It grows around me, a favorite blanket, allowing me to relax and create. To simply be. 

Something I don’t know that we do enough of. 

Are you the strong silent type?

1.10.17 - Wintering with Kittens

I love my cats. This will come as no surprise. But since the weather has turned cold, they are driving me crazy.

The littlest one in particular, as she possesses more energy than her big sister (or any other cat in the nation, I assume). They are both hunters, without a doubt. Give me a red dot laser pen, and I can keep them entertained for at least ten minutes. The house is strewn with fake mice — they prefer the real rabbit fur ones we get online, but in a pinch, anything that can be thrown will do. I already have 1500 steps on my Fitbit simply through this morning’s play. 

They love to be engaged, love to chase things up and down the stairs. Jameson in particular is a kamikaze pilot. She slides across the wood floor, smashing into cabinets and doors, losing nails as she pivots and twists on the throw rugs. Jordan is only slightly more sedate—when you get her going, she is like a snow fox, jumping high and pouncing with all four feet. She can jump six feet straight up to my shoulder from a seated position, gliding through the air like a flying squirrel, in a second flat. We call her Air Jordan for a reason.

When we built the porch last year, they found a safe haven. It’s fully screened with heavy duty pet screening, and they chatter with the birds, watch the squirrels, spy on our neighbors, their minds completely engaged. In the summer, spring, and fall, they spend 90% of their time out there, completely entranced with the wild.

Days like today, cold, dreary, highs in the 20s, the possibility of snow, I have to keep the porch door shut, and I begin to understand parental lamentations about school snow days. I am having a hard time focusing on my fiction, and so have been handling the non-fiction and easy chores, because Jameson will not leave me alone. She wants to chase mice, roll in plastic bags, be brushed, jump over my head, run up the stairs, hang off her perch like a monkey in the trees. Jordan was diverted by the laser, chasing it in circles until she got dizzy, then sauntered off for a nap. But not James. The cat is actually bored.

I didn’t know cats could get bored. I’ve never had kittens with so much energy, so much joie de vivre. They delight in our attentions, whether being carried around like babies or leaping waist-high to catch a furry mouse. Anything, anything, to keep the laptop off my lap. Long, mournful meows are the trademark — they cry and cry (or squeak, in Jordan’s case, the one who never mastered her words) like they’re hurt until they see me coming to check on them, then they dart away, with grins on their fanged mouths, thrilled that the chase is on. 

I think they were taught this by the cardinals, who tease and scold outside the porch windows. I read once that cats don’t normally vocalize to other cats unless in the grips of a berserker fury fighting each other. They’ve learned their calls and trills to talk to their humans. Mine seem to have taken this to an extreme, because they are mouthy as all get out.

This in comparison to my parents beautiful Siamese, Jamocha. At 15, she is going into renal failure. She is quiet and reserved anyway, a shy cat all her life, but especially so now. We spent the Christmas holiday coaxing and petting, doing anything we could to get food into her mouth. My brother’s cat, Miraj, is also elderly and ill, and somewhat quiet, but we managed to get both of them eating and enjoying their lives again. Quality of life in little old lady cats is a joy to behold, trust me.

What a blessing, these beasts. Whether young or old, we will do anything for them, anything to make them happy, content, satisfied. Who is really the pet, do you think?

And I just realized… there is silence. My beasties are asleep. Collapsed, really. Charging their batteries for the next go round. The wee demons have granted me an hour’s writing time. I better be off to it.

Tell me about your fur babies!

1.8.17 - Sunday Smatterings

Hello, friends! How's 2017 treating you so far? It's been good to Chez Ellison, giving us a quiet week, and even a lovely snowfall. You know what? I'll take both.

I'm all inspired and energized to tackle the new year (in fact, I just completed my Annual Review), so many of the links this week will be focused on doing good work and good living. And without further ado...

Here's what happened on the Internets this week:

Y'all have heard me wax rhapsodic about DEEP WORK by Cal Newport. That book has revolutionized the way I approach my craft, and I can't recommend it enough. So needless to say when Cal speaks, I listen. And I really enjoyed his blog post about deep scheduling. If you find yourself struggling with keeping commitments while doing quality work, you need to read this article.

My bestie is brilliant. This article will show you why.

This is for anyone taking a risk: "Failure Must Be an Option."

Nerd Alert: Svenja Gosen 2017 word tracker sheets are LIVE! For all you writers out there, these are gold.

Simply profound, brought to you by The Economist—"The Power and Meaning of Silence."

There's hardly anything greater than a master craftsman working away. I loved this profile on the last bookbinder on the Lower East Side.

And closer to home:

If you got the newsletter this week, you'll have noticed a special contest exclusive to newsletter subscribers. Aren't signed up for my newsletter? You can remedy that here.

I really enjoyed chatting with James Rains of the Dog Eared Reads radio show out of KMXT in Kodiak, Alaska! We talked about my start in the writing business, co-writing with Catherine Coulter... and my embarrassing Anne Rice story. 🙈

I've started my newest standalone novel (my 19th book!), and it's a little rough going so far. Usually it's because I start in the wrong place, but this time I think the culprit is POV. You'll see what I mean.

Oh! I've just updated my favorite books list. If you're curious, check out my recommendations.

That's it for this week, y'all! Go to bed on time, shovel your neighbor's sidewalk, and we'll talk again soon.

xo,
J.T.

1.5.17 - Choosing a Point Of View for Your Novel

I’m in the dreaded beginning of my next novel, and it’s been very slow going for the past month.

The first 25,000 words are always difficult for me (I believe I’ve compared it to pulling teeth) but this beginning in particular is being a pain in my butt. The point of view (POV) keeps wanting to shift, which tells me something is desperately wrong with the story. 

Normally I’d say it’s the story itself that’s the problem, but this time, I’ve completely outlined the book, from start to finish. I know the turns, the hooks, all of it. It’s a solid story, with a lot of subtleties (maybe too subtle to start, since I’m more used to writing wham bam thank you, ma’am beginnings, and I am exploring this as an issue). Maybe the outline and subtleties are a bit of the problem—my roadmap is too clear—but I think the real issue is the POV. 

There are five distinct POVs in this book: three women, Vivian, Lauren, and Juliet; one teenager, Mindy; and one male, Zach.   

Reason (and sanity) dictates I stick with close third for Lauren, Juliet, Mindy, and Zach. Vivian, for reasons that will go unmentioned at the moment, has a first person POV role of narrator. Which is all good. 

Except…

Lauren started talking in first person. And that confused the voice for Vivian in my head. 

I normally write in what I like to refer to as close third. It is a version of third person, past tense. Almost all my books are written this way. It’s a wonderful POV, very straightforward and easy to navigate.

What do I mean by close third? You, the reader, are very close to the character. So close that I could easily intersperse “me” and “I” for “she” and “her” and you might not notice right away. We are deeply inside the character’s head, observing and experiencing in real time, but I also have the ability to observe from outside, move into memories, and move to other character’s POVs. 

e.g.:

First person, present tense: I enter the room and see the bed is on fire. Smoke chokes the air from the room. I am terrified. I turn and run, slamming the door behind me. Juliet calls to me, her voice a beacon.

Third person, present tense: Lauren enters the room and sees the bed is on fire. The smoke is thick; she can’t see or breathe. She is terrified, and rushes away, slamming the door behind her. Juliet calls to Lauren, her voice a beacon.

First person, past tense: I entered the room only to see the bed was on fire. Heavy smoke permeated the air, making it hard for me to see. Terrified, I ran from the room, slamming the door behind me. Juliet called to me, her voice a beacon.

Close third: Lauren entered the room and saw the flames dancing, shredding the bedclothes. The smoke was thick enough to make her eyes tear, and she rushed out, terrified, slamming the door behind her. She could hear Juliet calling, her voice a beacon.
 

First person is always going to be the most intimate. But it’s limited to that person’s view alone. I can’t see what Mindy is thinking, or Juliet. The observations are straightforward and immediate. It’s not my typical novel form, and I don’t feel terribly confident in it for something long-form. Short stories, sure. But a whole novel? I fear it won’t hold up.

I switched to close third for Juliet’s first scene, and it felt very comfortable. But when I tried that for Lauren, it didn’t. Lauren was still speaking in first person, present tense. 

So I’ve been dithering for a couple of weeks now, wrestling with these changes in voice. WTF, right?

Finally, I started complaining that I’ve been stuck, and then sought out the advice of a couple of friends, one of whom read two chapters, one in each format. She affirms what my gut was saying—it was too jarring to move from close third, past tense to first person, present. I know authors who can do it. I’m not one of them.

So this morning I set out to change Lauren back to close third.

Of course, she didn’t like that at all. She wants to be heard, and heard immediately. 

And oddly, a whole new POV cropped up. Currently, she’s in third person, present tense (see above). Things are unfolding through her eyes in real time. It puts a bit of a crimp in my style as far as the other characters, but the intimacy is there, and I think we’re going to have to be in her head in some way for her story to have the proper impact.

This may all change another ten times before I finish. Storytelling is generally not this much of a struggle for me, so I’m still looking closely at why I’m having a hard time kicking things off. I’ve been blaming it on the research, of which I did copious amounts today, and that helped me leapfrog to the spot where the story really begins.

Which begs the question—have I, as I am wont to do, started in the wrong place? One of the big differences between thriller and domestic noir is the slower unfurling of information. Domestic noir isn’t as in-your-face upfront as the thrillers I’m used to writing, especially at the beginning. There’s a hook, for sure, but this one isn’t a drop-a-body-on-page-two kind of story. Not in the way you’re used to from me, that is.

This does have a wham bam opening, it’s just a little quieter and different than my normal, so I’m probably being too hard on myself.

Regardless, I will continue questioning myself and my story. Am I trying to be too omniscient? Not omniscient enough? And what’s with this chick wanting us to be inside her head? It’s not a great place, I’ll tell you that up front.

No matter what happens, it’s a chance to grow as a writer, for sure.

What do you think about POV? Do you have a favorite style?

2016 Annual Review

Welcome to my annual review!

For the past several years, I’ve been doing annual reviews of my life and work, based on the format from Chris Guillebeau’s wonderful Annual Review on his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity. Chris’s system is exceptionally detailed, more so than I really need, but the gist is there. It’s a great system for those of us who are self-employed and want to do an assessment of our work for the year. Here’s the link to the actual post. Go on over there and take a read. I’ll wait.

And if you're interested, here are the links to my previous annual reviews for 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014 and 2015.

2016 SUMMARY

It’s hard to quantify things sometimes, but on the whole—2016 goes down as the best year I’ve had since I started writing. All the hard work of the past decade seemed to pay off at once, which was both gratifying and frightening, because dear God, what have I gotten myself into? Be careful what you wish for, right?

I spent too much time on the road, and definitely didn’t write enough, but had a major first for me: creative satisfaction. I finally feel like I’m hitting the mark with my work. And that gives me so much hope and excitement for the years ahead. Who knew giving up my biggest goal would allow it to get within my reach?

I’ve been in this game for nine years now, and over that time, I've learned a very important and valuable lesson: writing what you love, what scares you, and what you think is going to get you in the most trouble, is the way to go. My training wheels are off. I’m riding free and easy. And I haven’t been this excited and happy about my art since my debut year. That’s what 2016 gave me. And what a gift it is.

2016 - THE YEAR OF LENT

MY GOALS FOR LAST YEAR
 

This is the year I let go of all my earlier goals and preconceptions and live in the moment, focusing on controlling what I can control and not worrying about things out of my immediate control. No more striving, no more craving. As always, trying to make do with what I have, reading books I've already bought, minimizing clutter, allowing for better organization. I want to learn how to be more present, more involved in the now, which means more yoga and meditation. Taking all I've learned about writing and productivity and putting it into action. And letting go of the idea that I can't work on more than one project at a time, which is simply resistance. Continue meaningful and satisfying connections with friends and readers, be a good boss, a good wife, a good reader and writer, and learn how to sit back and enjoy the ride.

 

WHAT WENT RIGHT

All in all, I have to say, 2016 was a raging success in terms of sticking to my plan. I was absolutely more present, absolutely more focused. I worked very hard on tending my own garden and breaking a lot of bad habits. Professionally and personally, I feel like I got a handle on my self-destructive/procrastination issues, especially using the internet as a tool for avoidance. That’s gone. No more. And it has created so much space that I didn’t realize I was missing.

In terms of the good things that happened, it was a magical year.

I released six books in 2016, two original novels (NO ONE KNOWS and FIELD OF GRAVES); three paperbacks (THE END GAME, NO ONE KNOWS, FIELD OF GRAVES); and released my first print short story collection through Two Tales Press, THE FIRST DECADE.

A WORD ON WORDS was reupped for a second season, and the first season was nominated for an Emmy®! It was an incredible year on the show, with awesome authors and a fabulous crew. 

Catherine and I moved to Gallery with Nicholas and Mike at the end of 2015, and I’m loving everything about our new home. THE DEVIL’S TRIANGLE is out next March, and it is hands-down my favorite book in the series to date.

I also signed a new deal with MIRA Books for another new standalone, and am doing a slight creative pivot to allow myself time to write both standalones and series books with them. Which is Very Exciting Stuff, as I’ve always wanted to write standalones. I have four books to come from MIRA, which is excellent news for all the Taylor and Sam fans out there and for the standalone fans.

My secret project from last year became my new standalone novel — LIE TO ME will be out next September 5. I’m hopeful it is a breakthrough novel for me. I know it was for the art. The sense I had when I completed it was utterly unfamiliar, until I realized it was creative satisfaction. It’s eluded me for a very long time, really since Jade’s passing five years ago, so I was relieved and grateful to have it back.

Amy has continued to be a godsend. I’m not sure what I did to deserve such an amazing right hand — because she’s much more than her titles — but under her steady leadership, I’ve felt more and more comfortable sticking with writing and interactions. (A note for writers here: you need someone to help. You really do. Even on an ad hoc basis for certain projects, clearing mind space for your work is a necessity. I’ve talked at length about ways to do this, from interns from your local colleges to virtual PAs. Trust me, it’s worth it.)

 

WHAT WENT WRONG
 

This list of what I didn’t do well is, as usual, long and varied:

• I didn’t hit my word count goal
• I didn’t read enough books
• I definitely didn’t lose any weight
• I lost my yoga practice
• I didn’t play enough golf and my handicap went up (ugh)
• I allowed myself to be distracted by things that didn’t matter and were out of my control

The biggest downside was the travel—as happened last year, I was on the road pretty much continuously from March to November. I had a several-month stretch where I wasn’t home for more than 2 weeks at a time, and there was a moment when we were actually counting down the events: only 10 more, only 9 more, 8 more…  I was unbelievably stressed by all the commitments I’d made.

This year, that is not going to happen. I'm putting real constraints on myself, curtailing appearances and declining opportunities. I simply have to stay home and write for a while, and focus all my attention on my work. It's selfish, I know, but art is selfish. I've resolved to unapologetically focus on me and mine for a while.

But the thing is, the positives of 2016 outweighed the negative so far that I can’t even start to complain. I am four years removed from my All Is Lost moment, when I seriously considered whether I should be doing this at all, and I am exceedingly grateful I didn’t give up.

 

NERDOLOGY - AKA THE NITTY GRITTY
 

Though it wasn’t my most productive year, I did complete two new books: THE DEVIL’S TRIANGLE with Catherine, and my own standalone, LIE TO ME, plus started a new standalone novel, wrote three brand-new short stories, and started another.

2016 Word Total: 877,650
Fiction Total: 217,228
Non-Fiction Total: 126,882
Email: 533,600
Fiction Percentage: 25%
Books Read: 66 (of a goal of 70)

2015 Fiction Total: 203,749 (Fiction 28%)
2014 Fiction Total: 291,114 (Fiction 36%)
2013 Fiction Total: 270,000 (Fiction 34%)
2012 Fiction Total: 265,000 (Fiction 34%)
2011 Fiction Total: 252,300 (Fiction 35%)
2010 Fiction Total: 198,383 (Fiction 32%)
2009 Fiction Total: 135,738 (Fiction 27%)

It wasn't my most productive year. I failed to meet my 400,000 word count goal for fiction. With all the external commitments, it’s not a surprise, though I was disappointed in the final numbers. This year will be better. I’m setting a hard and fast goal of 300,000, and I will meet it. That equals three novels. Two are already deadlined, and I have to get ALL FALL DOWN done too. Those three books should take me right to the goal.

I went all over the country on two different book tours, one for NO ONE KNOWS and one for FIELD OF GRAVES. All of the events were fun and interesting, and I fell in love all over again with several wonderful indie bookstores.

The books themselves were very well received this year, too: 

•   2 Okra Picks (NO ONE KNOWS and FIELD OF GRAVES)
•   1 Starred PW review (FIELD OF GRAVES)
•   1 Starred Booklist review (NO ONE KNOWS)
•   1 Romantic Times Top Pick (THE END GAME)
•   1 Book of the Month Club Pick (NO ONE KNOWS)
•   1 USA Today (!) showing (for reprint of ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS)
•   The Brit in the FBI books hit the top ten of all the bestseller lists
•   One more awesome thing that's secret until sometime this week...

Really, I can’t ask for more than that!

I made several changes to my daily accountability processes, including starting a spreadsheet specifically for my non-fiction. It made this process so much easier. I felt like my non-fiction was more successful this year because I pulled back on the quantity and focused on quality, something that will continue into 2017 and beyond. I also started tracking social media reach in a sustainable way, and was happy to see a lot of growth in the newsletter, which has become the staple of our outreach. Hey, we own it, unlike other networks. I have very specific goals for it next year; we’ll see how I do.

Something else I need to look at—my email number is apparently the equivalent of five nice, meaty novels. I think that number, though an estimate, may be high. My calculations assume all things are equal, and runs the average from the number of emails sent (in this case, 5530 emails * 100 words). Of course, that’s not always accurate. Some emails were short, some were long, some were goofy meme wars. I’m not too bothered by the idea of 5 novels worth of email, because Amy and I do 90% of our work through email. And I don’t track texts, so those will more than make up any deficiencies on my end. That said, I do know I need to limit my email consumption and output. Noted for the future.

I also abandoned my first adopted status. I was able to get into a great bullet journal method, which I’ll be discussing at length in the coming year. I relied heavily on Scrivener, Freedom, and Wunderlist, and got a new laptop for Christmas, which I predict will help my productivity tremendously. In case you’re interested, I did a permanent link to my Writer’s Tools here on the site. I’ve streamlined and am very happy with my system now. It’s simpler, easier to manage, and doesn’t rely on trying every new thing that comes down the pike.
 

2017 - THE YEAR OF FLOW

MY GOALS FOR THIS YEAR
 

After purposefully pulling back from external commitments, 2017 is the year I give my art my full attention again by staying home and working on my writing habit. Consistent writing brings me great contentment, and that is my goal for 2017 — contentment through consistency. This applies to more than just writing; it is my personal goal as well. Staying home allows for regular habits to grow and thrive — not just writing, but yoga, golf, friendships, minimalism for the house, and lots of regular, protected deep work time. This deep work practice will create great flow, allowing me to focus and challenge myself in my work.

Home. Deep Work. Consistency. Contentment. 

These are such simple words, to go along with my simple goals.

• I am going to stay home and write this year.
• I am going to challenge myself to write more.
• I am going to increase my deep work time.
• I am going to lose myself in my habits.
• I am going to regain my yoga practice.
• I will create flow.
• I will not allow external distractions rule me.

How am I going to achieve these goals? To start, I’m not scheduling anything on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays in order to create the space I need to write. I have a productivity course I’m going to take in January called “Zen and the Art of Work.” It’s the perfect way to start my year, in a contemplative and meditative examination of my productivity. I have arranged to go to a yoga class on Fridays to enforce my desire to reboot my practice. I’m already walking three miles per workout regularly, I’m going to add two more days a week.

What do I hope will come out of these goals?

Well, in addition to being more bendy and in better cardiovascular health, I want to finish three books. I will finish THE LOST ONE by April. I’ll finish Nicholas Drummond #5 by November. And if I get some free time in there, I will keep working on the new Samantha Owens, ALL FALL DOWN. And then, who knows what might happen? There could even be another secret project in the mix.  😊

I’m also going to take a real vacation, with no writing, somewhere overseas where I can truly allow myself to detach. Ireland, maybe. Or Spain. Someplace I’ve never explored before so I’ll want to be present and engaged. A beach with a pile of books would work, too.

I have two original novels releasing, two short story collection re-releasing, and a big surprise from Two Tales in the Fall. And I will continue mentoring new authors, helping my friends, and being a contributing member of the writing community, so long as my work is done first. It’s a relatively quiet year, considering. Fall will inevitably ramp up because of LIE TO ME's release, but that's 9 months away.

"Do. Or do not. There is no try."

Yep.  

That’s what the “Year of Flow” means to me. Doing. Lots and lots of doing.

It sounds very simple, and I hope it will be easier than I think. Thanks for helping cheer me along! Happy New Year!

The Deets: 2016 Writing

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